


A Tattoo Of Your Name

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Smut, The holy trinity god bless, also dan is kinda a bamf too?, and also really stubborn, but that's nothing new, don't ask me how i did that okay idk, literally dan is oblivious to everything, punk!phil, shy!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4670270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Prompt:</b> I need a punk!Phil and shy!Dan in high school AU<br/>-<br/>“If it was wrong, why did you do it?”</p><p>His voice is tiny, barely a whisper compared to Phil’s, but it makes Phil’s head shoot up like he hadn’t expected Dan to say anything and to be honest, he probably hadn’t. Dan glances away quickly, feeling like running again but knowing the nurse would stop him before he got out. </p><p>“Because- ‘cause,” Phil stutters and Dan has to look up now. Phil never stutters. “You hit a little too close to home.”</p><p> </p><p>  <b>WINNER OF THE BEST COMBINATION AWARD OF 2015</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tattoo Of Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> holy shit i wrote this in like five days???? i’m so productive rn love me please... but yeah no i hope you like this monstrosity of a fic jesus
> 
> also idk how i managed to make dan shy but still kinda bamf at the same time???? but w/e i did.
> 
> everything that happens in this fic is [eliza's](http://theinsanityplays.tumblr.com) fault okay she inspired me to write this
> 
>  **EDIT:** GUYS SOMEONE DREW ART FOR THIS FIC YOU CAN LOOK AT IT [HERE](http://gracefulphangirl.tumblr.com/post/129670177244/a-picture-based-off-of-demisexualhowells-super) PLEASE LOOK AT IT IT'S AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333
> 
>  **EDIT #2:** Y’ALL ARE INSANE????? [SOMEONE ELSE DREW ART](http://demisexualhowell.tumblr.com/post/148554352336/op-caption-i-tried-to-draw-phan-art-for-your) FOR THIS AND IT’S SO GOOD I LOVE IT

Dan is bored. Incredibly, terribly bored. He hates everything about Biology. He hates his teacher, who is the most annoying woman Dan has met in his entire life. He hates the subject; he knows a dick goes into a vagina – or into an arse, he likes both – and it feels good, and that’s all he needs to know. Mostly though, he hates his classmates.

Exept PJ maybe. PJ’s in his class, which is nice. At least he has a friend. There’s just one person, someone he absolutely despises, who always insists on sitting behind Dan, no matter the circumstance. It’s studying hour right now and Dan knew as soon as he saw a flash of those tattoos that he was fucked.

He tries to focus on his Biology, tries to draw another table filled with genes and Punnett Squares , but it’s so hard when every five seconds Phil-

“Did I tell you about Chloe? She’s amazing in bed, amazing I tell you! Best head I’ve ever gotten. I would try for myself if I were you.”

Dan rolls his eyes, thanking God for making Phil at least sit behind him instead of in front of him. There are two things Phil Lester loves; bragging about how many girls he’s fucked and annoying the shit out of Dan.

“Hey Daniel,” Phil sneers and Dan can almost hear the grin shine through in his voice. “Have you ever fucked someone?”

“I bet he hasn’t, the fairy’s too gay for any girl to want to fuck him,” Chris joins in and he and Phil share a laugh.

Dan shifts slightly, but reminds himself to concentrate on his Biology homework. Genes are nice; he can determine this child’s eye colour. That isn’t too hard. You have B and b and now just-

“Have you Howell?” Phil throws a ball of paper at him and Dan reluctantly turns around, not looking them in the eye and mumbles a quick, “No.”

“I told you he was gay,” Chris laughs and Phil grins widely. Dan blushes and swiftly turns back, pretending to be interested in Biology. They’re not worth it, they’re not worth it, they’re not worth it, they’re not-

“He is, isn’t he? Our pretty little fairy likes to get fucked in the arse.” It’s smug and spoken with a Northern drawl that Dan has come to despise, and by now Dan is shaking with barely controlled anger. He wishes PJ was sitting next to him instead of next to Louise, because PJ might’ve stopped him, but Dan turns around, looking Phil dead in the eye.

“Are you sure we’re talking about me here?” Dan says, his stomach twisting with anxiety. “It seems like you’ve got something to hide, Lester, if you’re so fascinated with me being gay.”

Phil’s grin falls from his face as he narrows his eyes and Dan is promptly reminded why everyone’s so afraid of him. He grabs Dan’s collar, pulling him forward and oh no that’s not good.

“Listen, you little punk,” Phil hisses, “you’ve got to evaluate your own issues, especially since they’re piling up right now.”

Dan swallows, his eyes growing wide with fear and Phil releases him with a smirk before he turns back to Chris. Fuck, he’s in trouble now.

 

* * * * * 

 

He’s grabbing his books from his locker, ready to return home when a fist slams down next to his face. He nearly jumps as a hand on his shoulder pulls him around before shoving him into the door, knocking the breath out of his lungs. Phil’s smirking, the shit-eating grin spreading over his face as he crowds Dan against his locker.

“Should’ve kept your opinions to yourself, fairy boy,” Phil sneers and he punches Dan's nose, a deafening crack resonating through the hallway. Pain shoots through his face and he clutches at it, falling to his knees when Phil kicks him in the stomach.

His vision starts blurring, his head a steady pounding in his ears until he can’t hear anything; not even PJ trying to get Phil to stop and a teacher pulling him out of Phil’s grip.

 

* * * * * 

 

The nurse’s office hurts his eyes. The lights are too bright and do nothing to help his pounding head. It’s his own fault really, he should’ve just kept his mouth shut like usual, but there’s something about Phil Lester that makes him snap.

His headache subsides a bit when the nurse gives him some bandages and a painkiller, muttering about ‘stupid kids these days that never take care of themselves’. He feels his face flush, whatever blood is still left in him rushing to his cheeks. He keeps his eyes on his lap, his hands fidgeting.

“And why should I let you see him?”

He does look up at that; the nurse is standing in the doorway, but the person in front of her easily towers over her. Fuck, it’s Phil. This is not going to be good. He frantically looks around trying to find an escape, but everything’s closed and he’s two stories high.

“Hey,” Phil says and Dan’s heart starts beating faster, because why did the nurse let him in? She’s not even in the room anymore, Phil could finish what he started right now and no one would be there to save him.

“Go away,” he mumbles. He brings his hand up to wipe at his face, trying not to let Phil see he’s crying. He feels rather than sees Phil shake his head. He keeps his eyes firmly locked on the floor, trying to pretend Phil isn’t there but ultimately failing when he places a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m trying to apologise, if only you would fucking look at me.”

Dan flinches as Phil’s voice echoes through the room. The nurse peeks around the corner to see if everything’s all right, making Dan feel slightly better about this situation. Another hand grabs his chin, forcing it upwards and making him look at Phil.

The pad of Phil’s thumb rubbing over the bruise on his cheek is unexpected and Dan freezes before collecting himself and batting Phil’s hand away. He wants Phil to leave, wants him to just walk through the door and go back to his asshole friends but Phil stays.

“Goddammit Dan,” Phil hisses, “I’m trying to swallow my fucking pride here okay? What I did to you was wrong and I want to say sorry.”

Dan looks at him, a small glance from under his eyelashes, but Phil isn’t looking at him anymore; his head is buried in his hands, fingers fisted in his hair. Dan doesn’t know why he’s doing it, but it intrigues him - and that’s something that can go to the corner of his head never to be dealt with again.

“If it was wrong, why did you do it?”

His voice is tiny, barely a whisper compared to Phil’s, but it makes Phil’s head shoot up like he didn’t expect Dan to say anything and to be honest, he probably didn’t. Dan glances away quickly, feeling like running again but knowing the nurse would stop him before he got out.

“Because- ‘cause,” Phil stutters and Dan has to look up now. Phil never stutters. “You hit a little too close to home.”

His head starts pounding again, the room spinning as the words sink into him like ice down his spine because that was not what he was expecting. Phil Lester can’t be gay- he is Phil Lester. How-

“No,” he breathes out and before he knows it Phil is running out of the room. Dan stares after him until he's long gone.

Fuck, Dan's an idiot.

 

* * * * *

 

Phil has been avoiding him. A week ago he’d be happy with those words, but now he just feels guilt shifting in his stomach every time he sees Phil glare at him. At least Louise and PJ are glad he’s gone; they haven’t stopped asking Dan how he got Phil to stop.

He doesn’t tell them though, and they gradually start avoiding the subject, pretending they don’t see Dan sulking in a corner. God, he’s such an asshole. He knows how hard it is to come out and he just outright rejected Phil when he did.

He doesn’t realise he’s staring at Phil until another glare is thrown his way and he feels like lightning bolts will strike him if he doesn’t look away. He has to fix this, somehow.

“You okay Dan?”

Louise is sitting in front of him at the table, just next to Phil’s head and he quickly diverts his attention to her. Her perfume is sweet and makes him gag slightly, but at least it keeps his thoughts away from Phil. He manages a smile- though he knows it looks really fake.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Louise frowns, but doesn’t press the subject further. He’s never been this grateful that she’s his friend. Phil’s looking at him again, but it’s not a glare and it makes Dan shift and he feels his cheeks warm, dragging his eyes to PJ’s grotesque explanation of his newest creature.

* * * * *

 

“Watch out loser,” Phil smirks at him and Dan avoids his eyes, trying to scramble up without losing his dignity - or whatever’s left of it. People around him are snickering and he feels tears rush to his eyes, running to the toilet before PJ or Louise can stop him.

“Dan?” PJ asks but Dan ignores him. He bites his lip, trying to muffle his sobs, his teeth breaking the flesh. PJ’s voice is muffled now and he licks over the wound, bursting into tears. His stomach is swirling with unease- with guilt. This is all his fault.

“I can see your feet you know.”

The voice is enough to abruptly stop his sobbing (and his breathing at the same time). He knows that Northern drawl, knows those army boots peeking underneath the door of the toilet.

“Go away,” he hiccups, his voice cracking. He sounds fucking pathetic. Phil chuckles and it’s gentle, almost, sounding like nothing that Dan has ever heard of Phil before.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door.”

Phil’s voice is strong, booming through the toilets and an anchor for Dan to hold on to (which is weird because Phil’s angry at him, isn’t he?).

“Why should I?” His voice is still shaky even though he’s calmed down and he breathes a curse. If there’s one thing he doesn’t want, it’s appearing weak in front of Phil Lester.

“Because I want to apologise. Again,” Phil says, his voice soft and okay, that’s definitely not the answer Dan was expecting. If anything, he should apologise to Phil. “Please.”

There’s no way Dan can’t open the toilet door right now, because that word sends actual fucking shivers up his spine. Phil never begs, not even when he got held back a year or when he got arrested by the police.

Phil’s sitting on the sink when Dan opens the door just slightly, peeking through it. He looks entirely defeated, guilt clouding his features and it makes Dan’s skin crawl. It’s unnatural to see Phil looking so down. It almost makes him look human.

“Louise sent me here. She told me you’d been sulking the entire week,” Phil begins and goddammit, Dan’s going to kill Louise. “I was really surprised. I mean, why would you be sad if you’re a homophobic dickhead. I just wanted to know why you were, that’s why I’m here.”

Dan opens the door and the resounding creak makes him flinch. Phil’s looking at him, completely vulnerable and Dan feels lightheaded with the intensity of Phil’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks. “I’m not homophobic.”

Phil frowns, a crease appearing between his eyebrows and Dan swears this is the first time he’s ever seen Phil frown. Dan wants to reach forward and smooth it down; it’s not a good look on him.

(Maybe he even wants to trail his fingers through his hair and over his tattoos as well, but if he does that’s nobody’s business but his.)

“That’d be self-hatred,” he adds softly, hoping Phil hadn’t heard but Phil’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. Dan blushes as Phil’s eyes widen, never leaving his once. Oh god, he shouldn’t have said that, this is a mist-

“So you’re.” Phil makes a weird motion with his hands and it’s so dorky that Dan almost laughs before he remembers himself. “God, I can’t even say the word.”

Dan smiles, his cheeks flushing as Phil hesitantly smiles back and it’s so weird to Dan, to see Phil with his tattoos and beanies and eyeliner like that, Dan almost thinks he’s dreaming. He shakes his head, quickly averting his eyes to the dirty tiles.

“Bisexual, actually,” he mumbles. “But nobody knows yet, so please keep it to yourself.”

“Of course. If you won’t tell, I won’t.”

He sounds more like the Phil Dan knows now, and Dan almost misses the few moments before this. Almost. Phil hops off the sink, gracefully landing on his feet and Dan envies him for it. Why can’t he be like that; smooth, popular and gorgeo-

He’s not going to finish that thought.

“Don’t look away from me,” Phil mumbles and holy shit why is Phil so close to him? His chin is promptly lifted up by a hand, fingers trailing over it softly as he’s forced to look into Phil’s eyes, his stomach twisting and filling with warmth. “You’ve got pretty eyes.”

Dan swallows when Phil releases him, wetting his dry mouth because did Phil actually do that? To him?

“See you around fairy boy!”

With that, Phil is gone. Dan huffs; it isn’t like Phil would change for him.

* * * * *

 

“So, the project requires you to work in groups of two.”

The whole class perks up and Dan immediately seeks out PJ, catching his eye and nodding before turning back to the teacher. They always stick together; if they don’t, no one else will.

“And I have already made the groups so you can sit back down.”

Everyone lets out a collective groan. Dan should’ve expected it really; even though Music is his favourite subject, Mr. Jones is horrible. He crosses his fingers and hopes the teacher hasn’t paired him with Phil – knowing Mr. Jones, he probably has.

Phil’s been acting like he normally would, annoying the fuck out of Dan or pretending he doesn’t exist. Dan doesn’t know what he expected; Phil is and always will be an arsehole.

He watches as everyone walks to their partners. Zoe got paired with Ben and Jack with Dean, which isn’t really a surprise. They’re the teacher’s favourite. Luckily for him, PJ still hasn’t been called.

“Daniel Howell and Philip Lester.”

Dan hears a snicker coming from behind him as Phil snickers with Chris. They’re probably thinking of ways to humiliate him in front of the class which, to be honest, wouldn’t be that difficult. Mister Jones always lets him skip performing, but since this is a group project he’ll have to.

“Well Phil, you got paired with the faggot,” Chris smirks. “Maybe he’ll suck your cock if you ask him nicely.”

“I probably won’t even have to ask him. He’ll drop on his knees for anyone.”

Dan reddens – from anger and embarrassment – but doesn’t speak up again. He learned his lesson last time. PJ sends him an apologetic glance but he shrugs it off. There’s nothing he can do about it.

“Sorry about that,” Phil whispers in his ear when he sits down next to him. “Chris is a dick sometimes.”

Dan shrugs, pretending Phil’s apology doesn’t fill him with warmth, because it doesn’t. Phil glances at him and he shrugs again.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ve gotten used to it.”

Phil stares at him for the rest of the lesson.

 

* * * * *

 

“I’m sorry you got paired with Lester.”

Louise’s voice is filled with sympathy and it bothers him. Phil isn’t that bad, right? The Bathroom Encounter proved that well enough in Dan’s eyes. Sure, he might act like a moron, but does that mean he is one?

“ ‘S okay,” he says, taking a bite out of his sandwich. “PJ got paired with Kendall. ‘M not sure which is worse.”

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth,” PJ says, sitting down at their table.

“You’re not my mum, you can’t stop me,” Dan replies, chewing noisily on the bite in his mouth, just to spite PJ. PJ looks at him like he’s seeing a dead mouse.

“You think I can’t stop you, Howell?”

Dan grins at him, pieces of the sandwich between his teeth. PJ could stop him if he really wanted to, because Dan is literally a bundle of twigs on legs.

“You can’t. A mere mortal can’t stop me.”

 

* * * * *

 

“So."

Phil looks out of place in his room, surrounded by the pastel green walls. It’s such a weird contrast; Dan would laugh if he’d be able to.

“So,” Dan echoes. Phil’s shifting around restlessly, his fingers twitching as he looks at the pictures framed on Dan’s wall. He coos when he reaches one of Dan’s baby pictures and oh no that’s the one with the food smeared all over him. He walks over to Phil, grabbing the picture and hiding it in a drawer so Phil will never see it again.

“Aw, why did you remove it?” Phil asks and Dan can already feel his cheeks burning. This is not what he’d had in mind when he invited Phil up to his room. The only reason they’re here is so they can work on the Music Project, Phil can fuck off afterwards.

“Because it has nothing to do with the project.”

Phil boos and jeers and Dan busies himself with opening his notebook, pretending Phil isn’t making him dizzy by standing so close - why is he standing so close anyway?

“Now,” Dan starts, “any ideas?”

Phil huffs and flops down on Dan’s bed, lying face-down for a minute and Dan blushes. It’s just – Phil Lester is in his house, in his bedroom, on his bed. If PJ or Louise knew Phil was there, they’d never let him live that down.

“I don’t know,” Phil shrugs. “You’re the genius here.”

Dan feels blood rush to his cheeks and he quickly pretends to face palm before Phil can see it. Judging by Phil’s laugh, he did.

“I’m not a genius. My grade in Biology is awful.”

Phil arches a pierced eyebrow and he honestly looks offended. Dan’s cheeks get even redder.

“Excuse you. Just because you have one grade that isn’t an A+ average doesn’t mean you’re not a genius,” Phil snorts. Dan just buries his head in his hands even further. God, this is embarrassing. Can’t Phil stop? He’s supposed to be an asshole.

He tenses when two hands gently grab his wrists, guiding them away from his face. Dan needs to buy Phil a cat bell or something like that; he hadn’t even heard him move. Phil trails a finger over the side of Dan’s face and Dan feels his cheeks get so warm he thinks they’ll explode if Phil doesn’t stop.

“Phil?” Dan asks and he’s surprised to find his own voice sounding breathless. Phil hums distractedly, not taking his eyes off of Dan’s. “The project.”

Phil jumps back like he’s been stung, taking his hands with him and Dan pretends he doesn’t want them back on his face, trailing over his features, because he doesn’t like Phil. Phil’s a dick.

“Right,” Phil coughs. “The project.”

Dan glances at him but Phil resolutely avoid his gaze. He could’ve sworn there was a rosy tint to Phil’s cheeks.

* * * * * 

 

“So did he suck your dick?” Chris asks and Dan is this close to punching the living daylight out of him. Not that he could, because Chris is infinitely stronger than him but God, would he like to. The lesson hasn’t even started yet and they’re already bothering him.

“No, like I’d let him. I have higher standards than that.”

Phil’s voice shouldn’t come as a surprise but it does. He had been so nice to Dan yesterday, almost scarily so, and they actually had a pretty fun time. Dan did at least, but apparently Phil didn’t.

He doesn’t realise he’s tensed all his muscles until PJ lays a hand on his. It’s a silent ‘are you okay?’ mixed with ‘let me handle this if they go too far’. Dan appreciates the gesture, but he doesn’t know how to tell PJ that they’ve already gone too far.

“That’s true,” Chris laughs and the sound sends chills down Dan’s spine. “Besides, it’s not like you’d be attracted to a faggot like him anyway.”

He swears he can almost hear Phil’s grin when he says, “True. If anything, it’d be the other way around.”

Any positive feelings he might have felt towards Phil promptly fly out the window.

* * * * * 

 

“I just don’t understand how he can say that,” he half-shouts at Louise. Her face is blank but he can see the worry shining in her eyes. Maybe those are tears, he can’t tell. And he really doesn’t care right now, because Phil was being a fucking asshole again. He doesn’t know why he had expected anything different.

“I don’t understand how you can get so worked up over this,” PJ deadpans and Dan turns around to glare at him. Fucking PJ being his fucking voice of reason when all he wants is to destroy something.

“Because.” Dan stretches the vowel out. “He was being nice. Nice. And now he isn’t.”

PJ looks at him like he’s crazy, and he probably looks like it right now. But fuck society’s norms, he’s mad and if he wants to run his hands through his hair so it’s sticks up like Einstein’s, then he will.

“Nice and Phil were two words I never thought I’d hear you say in the same sentence. Are you sure you’re talking about Phil ‘Fucking’ Lester here?”

Dan glares and mildly kicks against a chair. This isn’t fair, his friends are supposed to sympathise with him, not treat him like a maniac.

“Yes, I am,” he bites out. “You should’ve seen him yesterday. He was-“

Dan swallows down the rest of his words when he sees Phil is looking their way. Fuck his loud voice honestly. He quickly looks away, ignoring the way Phil’s eyes seem to burn a hole into his skull.

“You know what, never mind.”

He sits down on his chair and pretends not to see the worried glances Louise and PJ exchange. It’s none of their fucking business. Phil’s just a dick.

(He ignores the way his heart twists traitorously when he thinks that. He’s fucked, isn’t he.)

* * * * *

 

“Maybe we could go to my house next time?” Phil asks cautiously when he’s sitting on Dan’s bed again.

Dan looks at him, unimpressed, an eyebrow arched in a sarcastic question. Going to Phil’s house is totally out of the question.

“Why should we?” Dan mumbles.

Phil deadpans, his eyes searching before he smirks. He pins Dan down with his gaze. Dan swallows - it doesn’t affect him at all, it doesn’t.

“Because it’d make me happy?” Phil asks and Dan coughs down a bitter laugh. “Because you like me?”

That, well that stops Dan. Does he like Phil? Yes, Phil is a dick at school, and yes, he’s been bullying Dan, but he’s so… different, when they’re alone. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Phil ‘came out’ to him - which Dan personally doesn’t really believe. That might be a bit cruel of him, but he’s mostly convinced this is all a prank.

“Why should I make you happy when you’ve never done anything for me?”

Dan flushes, wishing he could swallow the words back down because Phil grins, raising an eyebrow - goddammit, Dan really wants to punch the guy that set those piercings - and leans forward on Dan’s bed, resting on his forearms.

“Oh I know something that’ll make you happy.”

Dan’s brain promptly short-circuits, because holy shit. Holy shit, Phil Lester is fucking flirting with him. Phil keeps glancing down at his lips and Dan unconsciously licks them, Phil’s eyes following the movement. He shifts, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

When Phil looks up at him again, he leans a little bit closer, his eyes questioning. Dan swallows the dryness in his mouth away, leaning into Phil. They’re close now, breathing each other’s air and Dan can smell the leather jacket and the lingering scent of smoke and Phil. Phil brings his hand up to cup Dan’s jaw, tracing his thumb over the bone and oh.

Fuck, what is he doing, why is he letting Phil run his finger over his bottom lip, oh my god this is not a good idea, abort, abort-

He scrambles backwards until his back hits the drawer behind him. Phil’s eyes are wide (with shock? Anger? Embarrassment?) and he’s panting, his chest heaving up and down. Dan coughs, hoping that’ll dissolve any hoarseness.

“In your dreams,” Dan whispers, hoping Phil hadn’t heard him.

(When he turns his back on Phil, he swears he hears him whisper ‘In my dreams indeed,’ but if Phil does Dan is so going to ignore that.)

 

* * * * *

 

The universe has apparently decided to screw with Dan today. First, he tripped over his shoes, which earned him a nicely shaped bruise in the shape of a table leg which he’s trying really hard to ignore. After that he realised he’d forgotten his books for Biology, which earned him a detention. And now comes the best part; Phil.

He has to apologise to Phil, because they’d agreed to meet at Phil’s house today - after nearly three weeks of constant whining - but now he can’t go because of the fucking detention.

And really, normally apologising to Phil is bad enough, but God decided that wasn’t enough of a punishment and gave Phil snakebites.

And Dan can’t stop staring at them.

Phil’s constantly giving him questioning looks, glancing at him every second and Dan’s had a blush on his cheeks for the entire day. He’s sure he’s never been this embarrassed before.

And when he taps on Phil’s shoulder, he really isn’t prepared for the impact a closer look would have. They shine in the light, reflecting it and they look like fucking diamonds. Dan has the inane urge to run his fingers over them, when Phil coughs and brings him out of his stupor.

“Uh,” Dan stammers, blushing. “I need to talk to you.”

“Sure,” Phil says, his tone inquisitive. He turns quickly back to his friends, saying a ‘goodbye’ before he nearly drags Dan into an empty classroom, ignoring the wolf-whistles.

“Dan,” Phil hisses. “What could possibly be so important that you have to fucking talk to me in front of my friends.”

Phil is towering over him, his shoulders shaking with anger and Dan curls a bit into himself, looking down at his hands. Phil’s posture relaxes a bit, but Dan’s stomach still twists when Phil moves a little bit closer.

“I just wanted to tell you that I got a detention so I won’t be able to make it.”

Dan glances up and sees Phil’s shoulders slump a little. Phil’s tongue plays absentmindedly with the snakebites and Dan has to forcibly tear his gaze away before he starts thinking about what they would feel like against his skin, his lips his-

Right. Not thinking about that.

“Was it really necessary to pull me away from my friends for that. You could’ve just not come and it would’ve been fine either way. I don’t really care.”

Dan freezes. He’d almost forgotten that Phil is a dick who doesn’t care about Dan but he seems to forget Phil is a bad idea.

“I’m sorry.”

Phil is out of the classroom before Dan’s fully apologised.

* * * * * 

 

“I don’t understand why this frustrates you this much,” Louise says and Dan is about ready to strangle her. They’re sitting together at Biology and Phil is not sitting behind him for once, so Dan takes the opportunity to fill Louise in on as much as possible. Including Phil’s snakebites, which Dan can’t look away from.

“Because he’s a dick!” Dan hisses, and the person in front of them turns around to glare at them.

“Yeah, an attractive one according to you.”

“I never said he was attractive!”

Louise stares at him for a second, then sighs, shaking her head. Dan looks away, his cheeks red. He stares at the doodle in his notebook like it’s the most important thing in the world.

“You just implied it,” PJ butts in from behind them. Really, Dan should be grateful for PJ not letting Phil sit behind him, but he nearly grabs his pen and stabs it into PJ’s hand for saying he thinks Phil is attractive. Which he isn’t.

“Phil is a dick. That ruins any kind of attractiveness he has,” Dan mumbles, pretending not to see PJ and Louise share a glance.

“So you do admit he has a kind of attractiveness.”   
  
Dan blushes, resolutely looking at the teacher. He can feel their gazes on him and glances to the side to avoid them.

Where Phil’s sitting, staring at him with a question and a glint in his eyes. Dan coughs and looks back quickly to Louise and PJ.

They might be horrible sometimes, but they’re still better than facing Phil.

* * * * *

 

Detention is more boring than anything ever, if the way his eyelids keep drooping and the boredom swirling inside him are anything to go by. Dan is, of fucking course, the only one who has detention today, so he’s been sitting with a teacher in a class room for an hour now.

The seconds tick away slowly. Just thirty more minutes, he tells himself. Just thirty more.

He turns back to his notebook, pretending to work, but instead doodling on the paper. He can’t even make out what most of the drawings are - he vaguely recognises a mermaid and an elephant - most of them are just random lines.

A lot of them are curled, in pairs of two and parallel to each other. Dan doesn’t realise he’s drawing lips underneath them until he takes a good look. And then another.

Fuck, he’s drawing Phil’s lips.

The pen slips from his fingers onto the ground and the teacher glares at him, most likely because he’s making too much noise. Dan doesn’t care.

No noise can compare to the buzzing in his head telling him that he likes Phil Lester.

It hits him like a brick, a pit in his stomach opening up and sucking everything out of him, because liking Phil Lester is not a good idea.

He’s trembling, his hands shaking when he bows down to pick up his pen and he’s unable to draw straight lines. Instead they turn out curved every time.

Dan rips out the page at the end of detention and throws it into the bin.

 

* * * * *

 

“Ah, you must be Dan,” Phil’s mum says when Dan walks to the door. Dan freezes; if he knew Phil’s mum was going to be here, he certainly would’ve wore something nicer than a sweater and skinny jeans. He pulls the sleeves over his hands, nodding without really looking at her.

“I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

He looks at her when she’s finished. Phil’s mum looks nice; all smiles and twinkling blue eyes (just like Phil’s, his brain helpfully reminds him). She also definitely doesn’t look like she’s lying.

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Lester,” Dan smiles carefully at her. The grin he gets in return is blinding and reminds him so much of Phil that it his chest tightens and his breath catches.

“Please, call me Catherine,” she says before looking at Phil over his shoulder. “You were right, Phil. He is a cute one.”

Dan feels like he’s been dragged through a pool filled with ice cubes, because apparently Phil Lester talks about him to his mum and calls him cute? Which is something Dan’s brain really can’t handle right now, not when he’s only just accepted that he has a crush on a person who will most likely barely tolerate his existence after this project is done.

He nearly jumps when Phil grabs his elbow, dragging him upstairs.

“Very funny, mum.”

Phil’s mum just grins at them and Dan waves before turning back and following Phil upstairs. And maybe he’s imagining it, but he can swear there’s a slight pink hue dusting Phil’s cheeks.

 

* * * * *

 

“Fuck, school work is so boring,” Phil moans, flopping down - onto his own bed this time. Phil’s room is interesting, to say the least. Nothing like he imagined it to be - not that he had imagined it of course, because he hadn’t - but this was not what he thought Phil Lester’s room looked like.

His room is green and blue and filled with plushies - mostly lions - and it’s so un-Phil-like that it’s almost comical.

Dan hums an answer to Phil, a distracted ‘mmm’ which could go for a yes or a no, depending on how you looked at it. It’s not really a topic Dan’s interested in discussing, and certainly not with Phil. Really, he just wants to get this over and get the fuck out of here so he doesn’t do something embarrassing, like getting hard from the way Phil’s hands move when he’s explaining something, long fingers moving in intricate patterns.

“That was code for ‘I want you to pay attention to me’, in case that wasn’t clear.”

Dan’s face heats and he bites his lip, firmly staring at the paper in his hands like it’s more interesting than Phil. Which it isn’t, but he doesn’t know what he’d do if he actually looked at Phil. Oh god, that could go horribly wrong.

“Come on, entertain me!”

Phil stands up, walking towards Dan. Dan glances up at him when Phil sits down in front of him, looking up at him expectantly. Dan flushes, shaking his head.

“Don’t tell me you actually enjoy doing this kind of stuff.”

Phil’s tone is indignant and Dan shrugs. He doesn’t really mind it. It’s better than Biology, at least, even though Mr. Jones kind of outweighs that.

“Put it away for a second.”

Phil grabs Dan’s notebook and throws it somewhere behind him. Dan keeps his gaze fixed on his lap where his hands are fidgeting.

“Hey Dan,” Phil says. “Look at me for a second.”

Dan looks up at him and his breath catches when he sees how close Phil is. Phil’s staring at him, his hand coming up to cup Dan’s jaw and Dan doesn’t stop him. He moves forward to press his lips to Dan’s and Dan makes a little noise in his throat when the snakebites move against his lips, because Jesus Christ, fucking finally.

Phil moves to grab his hips and grinds his hips forward in small circles, smirking up at him when Dan’s eyelids flutter shut. Phil releases his hips, fingers trailing over the bone before sliding under the back of his jeans and pressing Dan’s hips forward into his. Phil bites down on Dan’s bottom lip, and he moans, feeling Phil’s lips turn further upwards against his own as his hand moves over the curve of Dan’s ass.

“Come here,” Phil tugs on Dan’s arm and sits back on his bed, staring up at him, wetting his lips. Dan’s heart is racing, blood pounding in his ears. Holy fucking shit, he just made out with Phil Lester, and Phil had enjoyed it, judging by the tent in his jeans. He sits still, too scared to move and mess this up so Phil pushes him down onto his bed and moves to straddle his hips.

“God, you’re pretty,” Phil breathes, pressing his lips to Dan’s collarbone and pecking a trail from Dan’s neck to his jaw and back down again before starting to bite and suck a mark at the junction of Dan’s shoulder.

Dan closes his eyes, his face flushing red as he rocks his hips into Phil’s to create friction. Phil’s lips turn into a smirk against his skin and Dan feels the blush spread from his neck to his chest. Phil reaches to get his fly undone, fingers skilled and quick and Dan's chest tightens at the thought of Phil doing this with someone else.

He shifts and rolls over onto his side so Phil can push his trousers and boxers down just enough to get his hand wrapped around Dan, running his thumb through the slit before stroking him. He stops to spit onto his hand before getting a proper grip on him.

“Phil, fuck,” Dan breathes and flushes bright red when he realises how forward he’s being. He closes his eyes, and Phil squeezes him in return, going a little bit faster.

He cracks an eye open when Phil stills, his hand moving off of him, leaving Dan with the desire to grab his hand and place it back. Phil’s working on his own zipper, quickly opening it and getting rid of his boxers, smirking when he sees Dan staring at him.

“See something you like?” he asks, eyebrow raised and Dan swallows. Phil smirks at him. “Going for the quiet approach? Guess I’ll have to make you make noise some other way.”

He hovers above Dan again, grabbing his cock and placing it against Dan’s before wrapping his fist around both of them. Dan whimpers into the fabric of the pillow, focusing on Phil’s hand, on the way he’s working it over both of them, on the way Phil’s breaths are getting heavier, reminding him that Phil’s enjoying this too.

He feels heat surge through him as Phil leans down to kiss him, teeth grazing his bottom lip, and Phil shudders in response to Dan’s silent moan, his hand moving faster. Phil’s licking into Dan’s mouth, both of them bucking their hips into Phil’s fist. Dan can hardly breathe because Phil’s pressed so close to him and keeps sucking on his bottom lip, keeps moving his hand.

“Fuck, Phil,” he moans into the air between them when Phil pulls away. Phil’s pupils are blown, his lips bruised and his hair is falling into his eyes and he looks fucking wrecked. Dan blushes when he gets reminded of the fact that he did that.

Dan’s breathing erratically, and Phil’s fingers tighten, making his breath catch as he moves to bury his face into the pillow. He moans Phil’s name as he comes over Phil’s fist, Phil biting into his collarbone again as he comes.

Phil rolls off of him, grabbing some tissues from the nearby nightstand and giving them to Dan. Dan blushes when he feels the come on his stomach - his and Phil’s come - and wipes it off.

When they’re done and both zipped their trousers back up, they stare at each other, Phil’s eyes cool and guarded. Dan feels a flash of panic hit him.

Fuck. Fuck, how could he have been so stupid.

He moves to grab his notebook and Phil doesn’t stop him, just standing in the same spot the entire time.

“I’m sorry,” Dan says, his voice still a bit hoarse. “I have to go. Bye.”

Phil doesn’t say anything back.

* * * * *

 

Dan needs everyone to stop. Louise keeps asking if he’s fine (he isn’t), PJ keeps glancing at him like he’ll explode any second (he will) and Chris has decided he’s in a ‘good mood’ today and has been picking more on him than usual.

He wonders if Phil’s told him about what happened yesterday. Wait, no, don’t think about Phil. Phil’s a dick. A dick with really pretty eyes and snakebites who got Dan off yesterday. And then acted like it was nothing.

Fuck, don’t think about Phil.

“Daniel, either you stop crying or get out of my class room until you can behave.”

Dan winces when the teachers yells that, all eyes turning to him and he really doesn’t want their attention right now. He moves out of the seat, leaving all of his stuff on the bench. Louise stands up to grab his arm, but he shrugs her off and walks out of the class room with as much dignity as he can muster before he runs to the bathroom and curls in on himself.

Jesus, why had he let Phil do that? Why hadn’t he just stopped him? Why did Phil use him like that?

Every thought is punctuated with another sob, another spasm of his body on the tiles. He feels dull, like someone tried to carve his heart out with a spoon and miraculously succeeded.

Everything is quiet, except for him. He’s making too much noise, the walls are closing in on him, everything is too much. He scratches over the dirty floor with his blunt nails, trying not to do the same to his arm.

He freezes when he hears footsteps coming closer, biting his lip to muffle the noises he’s making. The person gets closer and closer to the bathroom, the sound of heavy boots against the floor getting louder with each passing second and fuck.  
  
It’s Phil. Phil’s standing there, in the doorway, eyes concerned like he hadn’t used Dan yesterday.

“Dan,” he pleads. Dan stands up, moving to walk away. “Dan, look at me.”   
  
Dan lets out a harsh laugh. Looking at Phil was what got him into this mess in the first place. He tries to walk past Phil, but Phil stops him with a hand on his arm, tightly holding on to him.

“Dan, please.”

“Let fucking go of me.”

Dan wrenches his arm out of Phil’s grip, storming away to the doors. It’s raining outside. How fitting. At least people wouldn’t be able to see the tears streaming down his face.

It’s cold, his sweater is soaked in seconds and it clings to his skin, making him feel constricted. Thunder roars above him and he smiles. If he’s electrocuted, maybe this will go away.

“Dan!” Phil yells and Dan wishes he would just leave him alone. “Dan, wait!”

Dan turns around, looking at Phil. Phil’s running towards him, like he’s going to fix this. Dan laughs; there’s nothing that can fix this.

“Why?” Dan shouts. “So you can make more jokes with Chris about me? So you can laugh at how pathetic I am? So you can reiterate how you used me?”

Phil stops when he reaches him, fringe drenched and plastered to his forehead. The snakebites glisten with water. Dan doesn’t glance down at them.

Phil looks distressed and torn and it makes Dan’s stomach twist. He doesn’t have any right to be sad, to be upset. He was the one who made the mistake, he was the one who fucking got Dan off, who made Dan crush on him.

“I didn’t use you!” Phil shouts at him, stepping closer. Dan takes a step back.

“Oh, you didn’t? Well then it must’ve been my imagination thinking up how you didn’t react to me after you jerked me off, how you ignored me, how you looked at me with disgust.”

Phil winces, minutely stepping back and Dan grins. Let him. The rumble of the thunder and rain around them is making him buzzed with energy, and he starts stalking towards Phil.

“How you pretended you were gay, just so you could get to me,” Dan continues, punctuating each sentence with a step. “How you made me fall in love with you, just so you and Chris could laugh. Well haha, very funny. The fairy fell in love with you. Now go back to Chris so you can tell him more about how I moaned when you got me off.”

Phil’s eyes are wide - with shock, anger, sadness, Dan doesn’t give a shit. All he wants is for Phil to get the fuck away from him as fast as possible.

“You’re in love with me?”

That makes Dan stop - and fucking shake - because the joke’s over now. Yes, Dan’s in love, now Phil’s going to laugh at him and then they all go back to the way it used to be.

“Yes. Now go back to Chris and leave me alone.”

He doesn’t realise how close he is to Phil until they’re pressed together, Phil’s body warm against his and Dan flinches. He moves to step away but Phil stops him, grabbing onto his shoulders and holding him in place.

“There is no joke,” Phil says and he looks deadly serious. Dan laughs.

“Sure there isn’t.”

“No, seriously. There. Is. No. Joke.”

Dan freezes, suddenly very aware of the rain dripping down his spine. If Phil’s telling the truth, and there isn’t a joke, then that’d mean-

Fuck. Phil likes him.

Phil’s smiling at him, softly, not his usual grin, and it brightens when he sees the realisation fly over Dan’s face. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against Dan’s.

“I love you too, you idiot,” Phil breathes.

Dan’s mind goes blank; he’s just staring at Phil. Phil chuckles and leans forward, brushing his lips over Dan’s. Dan feels like he’s been struck by lightning when Phil crashes his lips to Dan’s.

Dan presses himself up against Phil and rests his hands on Phil’s waist. He hears wolf-whistles in the distance and grins against Phil’s lips when Phil flips them off.

**  
**

 

* * * * *

 

 

 

**Epilogue:**

Biology, it turns out, isn’t that bad after all. All he needed was a little motivation in the form of a very persuasive – and attractive – boyfriend, who promised Dan that if he got a higher grade than Phil for the next Biology test, he’d let Dan do anything he wanted to him. It hadn’t really been a fair deal, mostly because Phil turned out to be a fucking closeted Biology nerd, but the offer had been too good to refuse

He grins at the memory of that day. It was certainly a pleasurable one.

And when he offered to do the same for Phil in return if Phil stopped being an ass to his friends, Phil had been more than excited to take the opportunity.

Evidently, Phil had turned out to be pretty okay as well. With emphasis on pretty.

The only thing that hadn’t really changed since they got together was Chris’ dislike for him, which got even more intense after Dan ‘stole’ Phil from him. It doesn’t really bother him that much anymore, only when things like these happen.

He’s pressed up against his locker, Chris’ hands fisted in his sweater, bunching the fabric. Chris is up against his face, snarling insult after insult at him, and Dan’d laugh at the patheticness of it if he wasn’t so scared of being punched. Which, honestly, wouldn’t be the first time that happened.

“Could you please stop holding me up?” Dan mumbles. “You’re ruining my sweater.”

Chris’ eyes narrow, and he presses closer and closer until Dan has nowhere left to run.

“Listen up you little fairy, you’re nothing. I don’t care about your stupid sweater. I just want you to stop pressuring Phil into being gay.”

Dan snorts, rolling his eyes. Chris is so pitiful it isn’t even funny. Or it is, but in a really sad way.

“I didn’t ‘turn’ him gay, Kendall. If anything you’re being really gay right now, feeling me up in a deserted corridor.”

He can feel Chris freeze, feel Chris’ mortification when he says that. He resists the urge to snicker; Chris is pathetic.

“Why you little-“

Dan flinches and closes his eyes, preparing for the force of a punch that never comes. When he cracks an eye open, Phil is standing over Chris, his shoulders hunched and shaking with barely contained anger.

“Don’t you ever lay a hand on my boyfriend again, Kendall.”

Dan blushes when Phil says that. He’ll probably never get over Phil calling him ‘boyfriend’. He walks over to Phil when Phil kicks Chris in the stomach with a steel-toed boot. Dan winces; that has to hurt.

“Phil,” Dan says, laying a hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Phil, stop.”

Phil turns around to look at him, his eyes icy and eyebrow raised in a silent question; why should I? Dan shakes his head, biting his lip.

“Because he might be a dick but he doesn’t deserve your attention,” he says and Phil’s eyes soften. “Besides, you’re making a scene. I don’t want you to get expelled.”

Phil nods before turning back to Chris, glaring at him.

“Go,” he hisses. “Go, and if I ever see you near him again I won’t let you go this easily.”

Chris scrambles away, literally crawling backwards before he’s running around the corner. Phil smirks after him, glaring at the crowd they have gathered.

He pulls Dan into a hug, like he’s trying to shield him from everyone. Dan blushes, burying his face into Phil’s neck.

“Nothing to see here,” Phil yells. “Move along.”

When the crowd’s gone Phil lets him go, pecking him quickly before hugging him again.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I wasn’t there faster, I got held up by a teacher and-“

“I was handling it just fine, you nerd,” Dan mumbles.

Phil hums against his shoulder, making Dan squirm in his grip.

“What, I’m not allowed to care for my boyfriend?”

Dan rolls his eyes. Phil’s a hopeless romantic, which – with all the big talk and tattoos – you wouldn’t really say at first glance.

“You are, just not in public.”

Phil huffs against his shoulder, his lips curling upwards in a smile. He squeals when Dan pokes his side.

“Race you to the bike shed?”

Phil looks at him, smirking, and Dan smirks back.

It’s on.

**Author's Note:**

> you madE IT TO THE END CONGRATS!!!!!! seriously tho thank you so much for reading this?????? like i’m actually proud of something wow. also this is the longest thing i have ever written i’m so proud of me.
> 
> please tell me what you think!!!!! i will literally sacrifice people satan for feedback. virgins, to be specific. or i will give you puppies. whatever floats your boat tbh
> 
> (seriously tho please tell me what you think i'm so anxious)
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://demisexualhowell.tumblr.com)


End file.
